In the Name of Vongola
by Yuki Chronos
Summary: "When you choose this life, you may seek a power to protect your friends. But don't forget; the life you hate will either 'protect', or 'ruin'." The Vongola has ruined Haru's psyche and made her unable to feel anything, including love. But, it doesn't end there, and Tsuna will witness the worst consequence of his choice the hard way.


**I'm still alive, everybody. For those who hate me for putting on hiatus mode for more than a year, I don't blame you. I just haven't got the time. But unfortunately, this will be my last fanfic. I have a brief announcement about it, but before that...**

 **Please enjoy the story.**

* * *

 **IN THE NAME OF VONGOLA**

* * *

 _True colors will bleed_

 _White will be the new black_

 _All in the name of this family_

 _Your beloved Vongola_

"Haru."

The brown-haired girl snapped out of daze. The girl who had her fingers placed on the piano keys stared at the 24-year-old boss in surprise. He sat beside her. "I didn't know you can play the piano."

"Yeah, well," she feigned a smile. "I had Bianchi-san taught me."

Tsuna noticed her façade—either his intuition picked it up or no, one couldn't tell, for he had realized the gradual change in her as she spent her days with her friends. "Haru…"

"Yes, Tsuna-san?"

How her beautiful brown eyes looked up at him with a perfectly set innocence gaze, as if her facial at the moment was undamaged. As if her personality was undamaged. He might've liked Kyoko even now, but that feeling grew unnoticed as time passed by. He didn't know what to feel, or how he felt. All he knew was whether things were fake or real. Everyone stayed the same. Even Kyoko retained her untainted innocence. But, Haru…

"Nothing." he averted his gaze away. As she continued playing the piano, the beautiful tune astonished the man. It was lovely, heartwarming, yet too much pain resonated through every tune. He couldn't take it anymore. "Haru, why do you stay with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The Vongola. Why did you decide to join this family? You're of no importance, you could've run away."

"I made a promise," she spoke. "I simply want to stay beside you and fulfill that promise."

But it was ruining her. She spoke in a more polite manner, and so cold and distant her voice at times. "If you're wondering about me changing, please don't bother. I'm okay." she added.

"Your change isn't okay. Even Kyoko-ch—"

"True color will bleed," she cut him off. "Mine had to become black in order to cope with the Vongola."

"I see…"

The air between them had grown tense in each passing time, one that he regretted yet helpless to prevent. Conversation between Haru had always been this short. Sometimes, they didn't speak at all, even when they were alone in one room. Now, he wasn't sure they were friends, or anything else. It seemed no status could define their current relationship. Without a word he stood up and headed for the door.

"Tsuna-san," Haru called, to which he quickly turned around as if anticipating something—yet he himself didn't know what or why. She approached him and gave a fist bump sideways to his shoulder. "Good luck on your coronation tomorrow."

Tsuna simply nodded and left the room as she bid him goodbye with a smile. After he left, her smile slowly curved down. Indeed, she knew. Always. She knew being in the Vongola stripped the spring off her. There were risks and rewards. Danger and death didn't concern her. The risk she considered crucial was a change in her personality.

Facing danger, being threatened, shooting a Mafioso, killing someone. The horrible images fleeted over her mind every day. She stared at the door forlornly as if it was meant for the man she loved. Yes, becoming a Vongola had forced her to erase everything in her as Miura Haru. Kyoko was easy. She was protected. Haru was glad she was still as flowery as ever.

She went to the infirmary and undertook a routine checkup with Dr. Shamal. After the checkup, Shamal was reading the medical log of his, specifically regarding Haru's condition that had her gone there every three days.

"Hey, Haru," he spoke. "I think it's time for you to tell everyone."

"No. With the coronation tomorrow, they need all the happy faces they can get."

"But, your internal organs…" he muttered. "Haru, you only have a day left to live."

She chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm fine. Another day is all I need." she stood from the chair and left the room.

Doorknob closed, she leaned against the door. It had been a year since she purposefully got hit by a truck. It was a scenario inspired by Chrome's childhood accident so she could die in that fashion. She remembered the relieved looks on her friends' faces, on Tsuna's face when she easily lied that she survived. Dr. Shamal was the one who had performed the surgery, and she convinced him to shut his mouth about her condition, although the surgery was a sham. Another scenario of hers while Dr. Shamal merely temporarily prolonged her life.

The day soon would reach dusk. She had a place she wanted to go alone. Just as she was about to reach for the car, a hand grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?"

She stared at Tsuna with blank curiosity. The warmth in his hand should've fluttered her heart. It should've made her blush or happy. And yet, she felt none of it. "My parents' graveyard. There's no need to grab my wrist firmly, Tsuna-san. It's not like it's a dangerous place to be, unless 15 minutes away is a problem for you."

He chafed at her remark. There was no reason to stop her, she wasn't wrong. He wondered; what drove him to cling to her as to keep her close? Was it because he couldn't stand the idea of them acting like strangers?

"I'll… go with you."

"You're busy for tomorrow's coronation. You'll be officially announced as Neo Vongola Primo, so please take it seriously."

"It's all taken care of."

Tsuna was forcing himself, she could tell. He was no better in condition than her. Haru had been seeing the hesitant, the doubt in his eyes longer than she could remember. In her mind, she wanted him so bad to be with her. She wanted to ask about any lingering issue bothering him. Yet, she couldn't. All she could do was silently enter the car and gesture him to come with.

An open field dedicated for the ground where their loved ones lay. Leaves from nearby trees sprawled in the field. The trees were swaying up and down, guided by the breeze. Tsuna stared at her back as she stood before her parents' graves. Her back gave away nothing but fleeting feeling of strangeness. What could have changed a bubbly girl like this?

No, he had always known the answer. He knew what the family had done to her soul. He knew what the mafia had done to everyone, and to the people who lay beneath this ground. He knew what it had done to him.

"Haru," he called. "Would you mind going to one more place?"

Regardless the reluctance explicitly shown on her face, Tsuna managed to convince her. He took her to a rooftop of a building with helicopter landing, only to find a strong gust of wind blew past her as a Vongola helicopter descended. The body was longer enough to provide wide space inside. Tsuna offered her his hand to climb up, she took it.

The helicopter was ascending long enough before it stopped. He slid the door open, and Haru found herself basked in the beautiful night view of Italy. They had ascended high enough for almost an entire island view. She and Tsuna sat by each other at the edge, hanging their legs down in the sky, watching the lights that shimmered Italy. She could see the ocean, the beaches, the overall island—although not tall enough to gain full view of a whole island. It was simply a part of it, yet there was nothing less beautiful could be said about the starry sky, the clouds hanging about them, the lights beneath them.

She stole a glance at the man next to her, sitting as their sides touched each other, there was no longer the gloom and sad look on Tsuna. His eyes that fixed on the view were brimmed with astonishment and that of innocence. His smile was as if forced, yet it seemed his current feelings were more complex.

"They say your perception of the world can change when you see it from above the sky. Tell me, what do you see?" he asked.

Haru kept her silence, staring at Tsuna without his knowing. "…You."

Eyes widened in surprise, he looked at her. It could've been the moonlight, but her brown eyes looked tearful. His hand as though moved towards her face on its own, which at the touch of her skin, he stopped hesitantly. There was so much he couldn't understand about his friend, but if he were to pull away, she would be out of his reach.

He merely started giving her hair a gentle stroke. "Haru, whenever I was feeling down, your smile never failed to cheer me up. I never showed it, but the equal amount of ordeals I have to go through as the boss… I always depended on your smile as much as everyone's. It's the only way I'm able to endure."

"Endure—?" he placed his fingertip against her lip so as to silence her. With his finger still touched her lips, he spoke, "You never reserve a smile for me anymore. You do that in front of others but me. I know why. That's why, I'm offering an exit." he cupped her cheek, leaned closer, and kissed her eyelid so gently like he was afraid to hurt her. "Please think about it. This family has damaged your soul. I'd rather not lose Miura Haru because of me."

It didn't matter, she thought. Tomorrow she wouldn't be here. She wouldn't see him, and he wouldn't see her. Everything would return to the way it should've been. Every person would be at the place they belonged. Just as Kyoko deserved to be in the Vongola, Haru didn't.

"This view can't change my perspective," she said flatly. "I'm no longer able to feel, Tsuna-san."

Tsuna winced. No, he didn't want to hear it. She continued, "I've put on so many façade so I could survive. I've lost sense of who I am. But now, we stand here. I regret nothing. None one moment of it. Even if it wasn't enough, it wasn't in vain."

Oh, he knew. But, he didn't want her or anyone to remind him. "Enough…"

"If we had never met, I wouldn't have suffered this much. My family would live. 'Maybe it'd be better if it had never happened', but 'maybe' is such a coward word… don't you think?" she couldn't stop. Those words escaping her mouth without her consent didn't come together with an appropriate feeling of sadness or resolution. Maybe it was all mechanically. Maybe she was no longer the Miura Haru of 10 years ago—she thought forlornly.

"Stop it!"

Haru pushed him away from her and fell off with a smile.

"Haru!" he watched her as she was falling down. His complexion turned pale of horrid. He didn't waste a second to think, and immediately jumped down. Falling down, feeling gravity was pressing him down, he wasn't in hyper mode. All he could think was reaching his hand out to her, and when he did he embraced her before all went black.

* * *

Grey clouds started gathering, lumping together, rain pouring down quite heavily, washing the bodies of two people sprawled on the ground. He opened his eyes lethargically and found himself lying on the ground. His eyes widened in shock at Haru who was supposed to be in embrace, but instead on top of him, hugging him protectively while her face was pressed against his.

He wasn't able to see, but running his hand around her body, and the feel of blood dripping down his body, the horrid feeling struck him. Her body was covered in injuries: several small twigs were sticking out of her body and one large tree branch out of her side. He hadn't blasted the amount of flame output enough to float in time, and trees—supposedly acted as a cushion, yet when it had, it was violently destroyed and its piece—Tsuna snapped in realization. It should've hit him instead.

"Why…?" she lifted her upper body slightly and looked down at him with the first different expression he had last seen in 3 years. Eyes shed tears, hurtful gaze. "Don't you… hate me?"

She fell on her other side. Panicked, he quickly rose up and circled her in his arm, hastily and carefully he tried to pull out every small branches on her body. One branch pulled out, she winced in pain. One other pulled out, her face grew paler. His mind was in frantic, he tried as best as he could keep his calm while pulling out her source of pain, but the more twigs he pulled out, he knew it caused her more suffering. She was bleeding here and there. He hastily took off his blazer, tore it into some small pieces, and wrapped it around the wounded parts.

He reached out for his phone and dialed any number he knew, but to no avail. Haru felt the prolonged pain that starting to affect her consciousness. Painful, but with her eyes grew weary, she didn't care. She closed her eyes; today or tomorrow, it made no difference. What's a 24 hour extension when you can do nothing but wait for your end? Normally, if given such short time, she would've wanted to spend her last day with Tsuna. But now that feeling was gone, she'd rather die today. She had given up on life, the best she had been doing was go through 3 years helping out Tsuna, then die. She wasn't afraid of death anymore.

A warm liquid fell on her cheek. She looked up; it might be because of the rain, but he was crying. The rain was cold, her bleeding body grew colder, however the warmth of his tears was what keeping her eyes open. She was shocked, he stilled as if couldn't do anything, and shed his tears for the girl in his arms that he would let die. She winced and felt a sting in her chest watching his tears, a sting she had lost since she stopped becoming Miura Haru.

"I'll die… tomorrow."

Her words struck him a myriad of shock. She gave away a feigned smile, "I have a day left to live."

For a while, the words didn't escape his mouth. "…What?"

"Like Chrome-chan… my organs were destroyed—" she coughed blood, panted briefly, and held his hand. "I… planned it. I needed to so… the pain would empower me. But mostly, I just… I can't stand myself."

His emotions were stirred up by both anger and concern. "What are you saying…? Why would you…?"

"Leave me. It doesn't matter… if I die now."

"It does!" His voice shaky—scared. "Every second counts… every moment matters… There's never a minute of being with you that I would give away, for whatever reason! Just shut up and let me pull these out!"

Haru would die. Haru would die. He kept that in mind as he continued pulling it out. He couldn't escape from the thought, not especially when she was dying before him. All that was left was the bigger branch sticking out of her side.

 _Great reward equals great risk, Tsuna._

 _It might affect your friends, and by then, you should reflect upon your choice_

 _When you choose this life, you may seek a power to protect them_

 _But don't forget:_

 _This life you hate so much will either 'protect', or 'ruin'_

Reborn's warning struck him a great realization. It was what the ninth had said, too. His position as a successor of Vongola would take a heavy toll on some of his friends, or himself. He entered the mafia world he hated so he could protect his friends, so he could spend his days with them, but instead, he was losing one.

He bit his lips and tightened his grip around her body. "What makes you have the right to commit suicide!?" he yelled. "You've always been the strongest woman I've ever met. Tell me, Haru! Is suicide the answer to everything!? Do you really want to make all of us—make me…" he trailed off as he saw her tears.

She slowly lifted her body up, faced him, and cupped his one hand as she leaned her face closer to it. "Why… Tsuna-san…" her hands trembled, voice sounded hurtful. "I want to feel happy. I want to feel scared. I… I want to feel love. I know I still love you… I must… but…" her grip began quivering. "…why can't I feel anything…?"

The feeling of her shaking hands alone weighed him with her sadness. He was taken aback by this sudden moment that showed her vulnerability, showed her tears, sincerity. No longer was it anything feigned. But, it was too much for him to deal with.

The imagery of her bubbly side before it all went to hell came back to him; her cheerful smile, her energetic upbringing, her relentless approach on him, and the Haru crying for those loss before him. It was just far too much.

He kept watching, even as she was falling unconscious into his arms.

By the time Gokudera and Dino arrived, they were greeted by the sight of their boss holding Haru in his arms ever so caringly, with flowing tears from both of their eyes.

* * *

Dr. Shamal, who had asked for Tsuna's presence, in the infirmary he explained everything. The word 'mentally deranged' about Haru triggered Tsuna's silent shock, but Gokudera's fury.

"You old man!" he grabbed his collar. "Take that back! She may be annoying—" Gokudera finally noticed: Haru hadn't been annoying as of late. Not since the truck accident. Looking at Dr. Shamal's solemn look shrunk his anger and had him let go of his grip.

Dr. Shamal—fixed his collar—explained what happened, how not only he had been acting as her doctor, but also therapist. For Haru, it was a tremendous challenge to fit in. Unlike Kyoko, she wasn't so protected. She had a choice, but chose the least good for herself.

"She grew to create façade to survive, so she could fulfill her promise, she kept saying. She never told me what promise—" he cut himself off when his eyes caught Tsuna's reaction. His frozen reaction told him at least whom she promised to.

He continued: somewhere along the line, she lost sense of herself. She couldn't revert back to her old self. A voluntary act at first, then involuntary reflex, and until it had become her identity.

"Unfortunately, this is just the prelude," he added. "What drove her to this madness isn't just the pressure of being a part of Vongola. It's the façade she can't turn off. And the effect of it that has made her devoid of emotions, including her love for you. She was beyond stressed. Wherever she goes, wherever she looks at, it's all nothing but cage and lies. That's when she orchestrated the accident."

"Are you saying she's lost to a mere pressure?" asked Gokudera skeptically.

"…Isn't it natural?" Tsuna voiced dispiritedly. "When you lose sense of your identity, you'll panic. Unable to have a control over yourself… it terrifies her. But, if she's unable to stop faking, she won't know what future she'll create, or its impact on others."

The way he explained sounded to everyone that he had the same experience. Tsuna stood and left the confused two.

Two hours had passed, she opened her eyes, greeted by the worried faces of Chrome and Bianchi. "Ah!" she abruptly rose up, to which she winced in pain. "What's the matter, Haru?" asked Bianchi.

Haru gave a sidelong glance at Bianchi before calming down. "N-nothing."

She wondered what Tsuna was doing. She had never seen him crying like that, much less crying for her. Even it was for a brief moment, she had felt the weight of all of his bottled up emotions from his tears, from his body. But, for a moment, it was the first time since 3 years she shed tears. The first time all of those insecurity she had locked inside her heart came back to her like flood. She needed to see Tsuna.

To their dismay, she stood up from her bed. "Haru-chan! You shouldn't move around!" despite Chrome's concern, Haru—holding her injured side—looked back at her, "I have to go. I'm sorry."

Wobbling legs barely able to stand upright, she slowly walked along the hallway. Her body hurt, tears from the pain started forming under her eyes but merely stuck. She somewhat had a hunch that his remorseful expression was more than just thinking of her dying. The rain never stopped, she halted when spotted him in the garden. He had turned his back on her, knees had fallen on the flower field. She stared at him all confused and concerned; his shoulder and back brought about far more remorse, regret.

To her surprise, a soft laugh escaped his mouth almost forced which suddenly went into a bigger painful laugh. "Who am I kidding? I've always known the drawback. Always. Hey, universe!" he started shouting his lungs out under the pouring noise of the rain. "I don't need you to remind me that! I regret! I ponder! I already remind myself every day, every night! In every sight of them getting hurt! In every moment I look at Haru! In every moment I look at the mirror, and see this wretched face of hypocrisy who uses an excuse to protect his friends! I know that! I don't care the impact on me, but what makes you have the right to drag Haru into this!? What another cruelty do you have in mind for us!?"

His voice began cracking up, trembled under too much weight, too much of guilt and resentment. His palms were pressed against his face and clasped his lowered head, ever so stressfully. "I ruined her… I ruined myself…"

"Tsuna-san…" her voice was too low for him to pick up.

"I've hurt people… I resort to bloodshed to better the Vongola… enough of this, I… I've had enough…"

The images of his resolute back, his propped up shoulders that signified leadership and resolve to protect his friends, the admirable figure of the boss she always stood behind came back, as if to be compared with the current Tsuna, who was crouching in helplessness. The rain didn't make it any better, nor could it wash his sorrow.

Tsuna had always stood firm. But, looking at him now she was sure: he was just like her. His days had been a product of a forced strong front—leaving out every night or every moment he was alone in which he felt the weight of his choice, the helplessness over a spot he couldn't escape from for he needed the power for his friends. She couldn't regret, but he still could. "You're… regretting your choice, aren't you?"

Tsuna looked back. Haru flinched; his face and eyes seemed so tired. Not physically tired, but tired of all of this. Tired of being Vongola boss. Something about his state brought about an ache in her heart, a pain she had always yearned for.

"...I just wanted to... protect them..."

"Please stop crying!" she yelled out in tears, which made him flinch. "You've been forcing yourself for the sake of others. You entered a world you hate so you'll gain the power to protect them. So they're happy… but what's the point of protecting us if you're unhappy?"

Her remark struck him. She might have a point, but nothing could be changed. "I don't matter. Haru, you'll die tomorrow. I'll have to live the same second you die. I'll have to watch you leave this world. And the last thing I remember from you would be this moment, and the fact that you committed a suicide because of me."

She fell silent. He was right. This was her last night. "Then... why don't we make a memory?"

"A… memory?"

She approached him and kneeled. "We'll spend our last night doing anything we want, just us alone. And then, it will be a memory... to remember me by. It'll be a memory that makes you look back to this moment and smile. Afterwards, we will say our goodbye and never see each other again. That way, you won't have to see me dead."

He was taken aback by the suggestion. But as it might seem tempting, it altogether added up the yearning feeling for her he would have in the future. Good last memories would be everlasting, but caused more heartache. "…All right. But what should we do?"

"I don't know. If it were the old me, I probably would think tons of fun things to do."

"Then... we'll make it up as we go." he offered his hand. "Let's go."

Hands interlocked each other, the dispiritedness still lingered in them, but at this moment, they didn't follow their hearts, but their bodies. By 2 a.m., everyone was asleep—excluding Gokudera who was doing a last patrol around the perimeter. Tsuna and Haru had the interior to themselves. Wondering around not knowing what to do, they spotted Gokudera sitting on a tree stomp at the backyard. Had an inkling what to do, Haru sneaked up behind him, slowly reached her hand to his favorite cigarette behind him, and at the slightest touch quickly snatched it and retreated behind the wall Tsuna had hidden.

"He's going to get mad, you know." he said.

"We're simply doing him a favor by saving his life."

"Wait, we? H-hey, don't drag me into—ah! Hey! Where are you dragging me?"

Haru gave a meek smile and put her finger to her lips, gesturing him to be quiet. Tsuna's eyes widened as he watched her pulling him along. Though it was small, at that moment, he could feel the sincerity in her smile. He didn't know the meaning of it, but it was what had him mesmerized. She stopped in the music room, let go of her hand, and somersaulted towards the piano, though slipped the landing a bit, to Tsuna's concern.

She gave away a soft laugh at her landing, and again, the smile entranced him, unknowingly his cheeks became tender pink. "I'm okay, I'm okay. Come on. Your turn."

Stupefied with astonishment before a chuckle escaped him. He grinned, drank his dying will pill, and did a perfect somersault. "Ah! That's cheating!" Tsuna gave a teasing sneer as she grabbed his collar and shook him back and forth. He laughed, "I've never used dying will for trivial things like this."

Seeing the laugh, the joy fleeting over his face in a long time, she didn't know why, but now, it made her blush. She gave a frustrated sigh before letting him go. "Fine. You win." she threw herself onto the piano chair, he then sat next to her.

She started playing a piece in which he had never heard before. The tune was hauntingly beautiful; a mixed up feeling of sad and joy capable of stirring up one's heart. Somehow, hearing the beautiful tune, the graceful figure of hers as she was playing, it all made him forget the burden of being a boss. Made him remember the peaceful moments 10 years ago, where everything hadn't changed.

"Tsuna-san," she kept playing. "Please carve this tune in your memory. I didn't have the time to record it for you, despite it was supposed to be my parting gift."

"Haru…"

He wouldn't have a physical memento of her. Only memories. The thought nothing he could hold onto to remember her wasn't right, but it was the answer. The best memento she could give wasn't in a graspable form, but a form that would never slip away from his mind no matter where he went, or what he did. It wasn't something he could forget.

When she finished, she noticed he had been staring at her. He didn't want just this moment as a memory. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her eyelid. Her heart throbbed, like for a brief moment, she felt the love. He buried his face under her shoulder.

"WHO THE HELL STOLE MY CIGARETTE!?"

Both flinched in surprise at the very loud shout and Gokudera angrily headed for them. Tsuna quickly pulled on his hyper mode, carried Haru princess-style and flew outside the window. Out of panic, Tsuna flew further than he realized. He had arrived at the town. He landed and dropped her in the street. Haru stared at him curiously as he sighed in relief. "Tsuna-san, why did you run?"

"Eh? Wh-who wouldn't?"

"Gokudera-san has a _very_ soft spot on you, you know that."

"W-well, true. Sorry, I didn't think much. But since the rain has stopped…" he approached one villager who happened to be around. She couldn't make out the conversation due to the distance, but the villager nodded and seemed delighted before parted ways. Afterwards, Tsuna simply offered his hand and took her to a hill where a full view of the town was in sight. Debris from an old building lay about, scattered in a way that told her such place was a scar from history. It didn't smell ancient, but the air of this place brought about a beauty of its own. Tsuna blasted a fire up, a signal—so it seemed—to give a go.

Fireworks—bright and colorful—painted the blue sky as they few at a time blasted up and exploded in the sky. Both sat and basked in the nostalgic view sitting on a debris side by side. She couldn't help to reminiscence—to 10 years back, to the first festival she ever went with Tsuna and his friends, to the same stunning moment of profound joy and loveliness altogether as they sat on the ground looking up. It wasn't the same sky now, but it was all too real not to be remembered.

It had been a while since she reminisced. Too much bottled up stress and hurt had been trapped inside of her to have her a day to forget about all of it. She had forced her way to feel when she couldn't and failed, or refused to when she should put up a strong front.

Her hands were balled into fists as it was trembling. To Tsuna's surprise, she started humming the tune with her grievous eyes fixed on the exploding fireworks. After a while, he followed suit. Surprised, but she didn't stop. She kept humming while giving him a meek smile. He stood up, gave her a hand.

Knowing it was a cue to dance, she accepted. There was no song but the tune they were humming. It wasn't perfect in retrospect, but to them, it was more than enough. As they were dancing under the fireworks, dancing along the song they were making out of their mouths themselves, and the fact it was a piece dedicated to him summarized every memorable moments that could happen in a single night.

She was humming the tune rather delightfully, even if her face didn't express much, her curved up lips did. If anything, it was elegant and made him happy. He pulled her into his embrace deeper, latched his hand around waist in a way he didn't want to let go. Her head now rested against his shoulder. He closed his eyes—her hair smelled like rain but her distinctive smell was still there. He tried to capture her essence and stored it into his memory long enough for it to forever remain.

He stared down into her face with half-lidded eyes and wistful look. He didn't want her to die. The words were so itching to get out. He didn't want her to leave him. But, all he could do was smile and give in.

"Tsuna-san," she hesitantly peeled away from him. "It's time."

How hearing that felt as if he was struck by a thunder. Aching, painful, he could hear and feel his own heartbeat in this moment which he now wished didn't happen. As agonizing as it was, he tried not to say the words and nodded silently. He closed his eyes and counted slowly, "One… two…"

She stared at the man she loved with a smile—no, the forced smile disappeared. She couldn't force herself to smile as if it was a happy ending. Her suicide was stupid, but she feared her own self, what she could become. Her eyes were tearful yet she tried hard not to cry. All she could do was silently gazing at him at the very thought of leaving him.

"Three…" he opened his eyes.

She was gone.

* * *

All alliances and friends had arrived at the base. The mansion was filled with both eccentric and normal Mafioso from every continent. Of course, the strongest family in Italy—possibly the world soon would officially announce the new heir as the Vongola Decimo—or as Reborn would say it, Neo Vongola Primo. Less than half an hour before the ceremony would begin.

Haru stood before the graves of her parents, alone as she could hear the liveliness from her end. She chuckled and gave a smile at the tombstones, a curved up lips that began escaping blood. And yet, aside the blood that was pouring out, so was her tears. Of all times, she was feeling those tears now, and couldn't stop.

She fell on her knees and closed her eyes with regret. She didn't want to die. Tsuna's face never stopped popping inside her head. Everything they had done the other night returned to her along with the emotions. But, what she felt wasn't supposed to matter. It had been done, foolish or no. She hadn't just been scared of herself, rather also what her uncontrollable façade could do to her friends. Her insanity would grow and hurt them.

With that in mind, she sat against her mother's tombstone, waiting her final second.

All of the sudden, she heard a tread of someone's shoes, rustling the leaves on the ground. Her eyes grew wide in surprise upon seeing the Vongola boss with his cloak and entire uniform for the coronation, including variation of spring flowers in his hand. He dropped his knees beside her.

"Are you sure it's okay?" she asked.

"Not one bit," he replied. "But I won't let you die alone."

"But ditching the ceremony… for one life will… get you in trouble…" her breath became heavier. He furrowed his brows as she was suffering. She coughed blood, to his dismay. It was a sight he couldn't bear to watch, one he couldn't turn away from. He wiped the blood on her chin while his other hand grabbed her hand to comfort her, squeezing her last warmth gently. His gaze was gentle, pained, yet resolute.

He was very warm, she thought. She squeezed back and looked up at him with tearful eyes. "Tsuna-san."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

He was stunned; this time, those three words finally conveyed her feelings. With tender red colored his cheeks, he smiled yet his eyes were tearful. He leaned down closer to her face, their lips met, her eyes grew wide. It wasn't a touch as his lips was latching onto hers. She closed her eyes, with her remaining consciousness indulging into the kiss as he was. Minutes had gone by, Tsuna didn't remove his lips.

This moment time was the enemy, but to him, as he was feeling the remaining warmth of her lips, time didn't seem to flow. It was just him and her, nothing else mattered. He felt the last of her seconds, he tasted the very last blood, he felt her last breath brushing against his skin.

Until he no longer felt that breath.

He had felt her soul leaving her body. He pulled away, paused at the sight of her closed eyes. There was nothing painful than feeling the soul of the one you loved slipping out of your arms, he finally tasted it firsthand.

He slipped one small flower into her hair and put the rest on her body. He caressed her hair while forcing a grin with tears pouring out.

"Thank you for staying with me, Haru."

* * *

 **a/n: I'm sorry if it's crappy, it wasn't very well thought-out.**

I know this time it's a bit darker than usual and hardly romantic, more depressing. It's just that one of the reasons why I haven't read or written fanfics is I've lost that feeling. I hardly feel anything. Since a year ago, I've lost the feeling of an actual happiness. I don't know how to convey 'love' in a story. I don't know how to make a story that moves one's heart like I used to. I used to be able to cry, be happy, or sad whenever I write, and when it did affect me, I knew I could also affect my readers. But now, I feel nothing. Hence, that explains the theme of this story.

Being in the environment I despised changed me. Sometimes, I'm stressed over unable to properly feel, I agonize over that every time I regret of being where I am, being what I am, doing what I'm against. So, basically, life hasn't been easy on me. Of course, I'm not planning to commit suicide. Ever.

 **Thus, due to unable to feel 'love' (intimate love), I can't continue my fanfics, so I'll be putting the 'discontinued' status on each one. I'm sorry for those who have been waiting for an update, but this story may be the last.**

 **And due to my circumstances and other unspoken ones, I'll be leaving this site. But, I won't delete the account, and can still reply to PM. I'll post this announcement in my profile later.**

 **So once again, I'm very sorry. And for those who have been with me, thank you so much for your supports. It's been fun reading your reviews and writing for you. It's been an emotional roller coaster days reading amazing tsuharu fanfics.**

 **Arrivederci :')**


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